Why is it that sometimes you don’t get what you want?

Most of us know what we want or at least have a good idea. So what goes wrong then? Why is it that sometimes we just don’t get there?

Every day as thoughts pass through our minds we have the opportunity to programme ourselves and our unconscious mind to move us toward the things we want.

We can imagine our unconscious mind as a Loyal Servant totally willing to do our bidding waiting for our instructions. The thing is that this servant is very literal and will attempt execute exactly what you ask. So how are you talking to your loyal servant?

Trap 1 – Thinking of what you don’t want

The first trap is to be thinking of all the things you don’t want to happen, Your Loyal Servant (YLS) does not understand negatives. You can prove this yourself: just stop for a second and then don’t think of a pink elephant with a purple hat. What happens, yes your loyal servant immediately conjures up what you didn’t want. The first rule then is to focus on what you want. If this is troublesome then ask ‘What do I want instead?’

Trap 2 – Fuzzy thinking

Because of the literal way your loyal servant operates vague instructions will produce vague results. The more specific you can be the better the job will be done.

Trap 3 – Focusing on the journey not the destination

You fall into this trap when you spend lots of time thinking about the how to get or do something, you have an idea and that little voice inside tells you all the ways you won’t be able to manifest it so you stay put. This is a subtle trap because it feels like you are doing something. Trust your loyal servant to be able to work out the how or flag up that you need to learn something in order to get there.

Getting out of the trap

Try this – think about going to Edinburgh (unless you are already there if so pick somewhere else ). Imagine yourself in the centre of the city and ask yourself ‘So what do I need to get there?’ as soon as you ask this your loyal servant will automatically provide a list of requirements and possibilities all you need to do is choose the right combination (your conscious minds job) and then take action.
Now experiment with something else, imagine strongly what you want and notice what happens. Sometimes we will reject the solution because it may require more effort than we are willing to expend and that’s another story altogether…

The following two tabs change content below.
My Twitter profileMy Facebook profileMy Google+ profileMy YouTube channel

Roger Terry

Director of Training and Coaching at Evolution Training Ltd
Roger Terry is one of the world’s leading experts on applying NLP to drive excellence both professionally and personally. Roger leads seminars and consults with companies all over the world, including in the UK, USA, Europe and Middle East. He is the author of several books, including The Hidden Art of Interviewing, NLP and Qualitative Research, NLP for Teachers and The NLP Toolkit.