All too often, poor communication skills get us into trouble. We learn our communication skills from a young age and only some of what we learn is effective.

In this post we’ll explore how to get judgements and comparisons out of your way when making imperative decisions — and how to reprogram yourself to respond rationally, even in stressful interactions.

Through our development and evolution, we have been programmed to ensure our own survival in dangerous situations. This allows us to make almost instant judgements and comparisons. While this was useful when human experience frequently involved the need to escape dangerous predators (should I turn left, hide, or throw my spear at the predator?), we don’t often experience the same sort of threat to bodily harm these days.  Still, our evolved propensity for judgement continues to come out in stressful situations.

A number of responses happen within our bodies in stressful situations, one of which is that blood flows directly to the muscles, away from the brain. This response hinders our decision making capabilities, which means that sometimes our snap judgements get us into trouble.

The trick to avoiding this problem is a little self-reprogramming. There are two main components to this reprogramming.

Recognise what’s happening. When you feel an increase in heart rate, churning stomach, and a flood of emotion, take mental note. Move yourself out of this state of stress and into a state of conscious and confident thought. You should note, this doesn’t necessarily mean physically removing yourself from the situation. Simply taking a moment to observe what’s going on and recalling a time when you were calm confident and resourceful will begin to shift your response In the situation.

  1. As a result of step one, you will be able to be empowered to make more reasonable decisions about how you want to respond in the moment – so make them!

Remember the old saying, “practice makes perfect.” With a little practice, you’ll be making confident decisions and avoiding the conflict of judgements and comparisons.

What techniques have you found and implemented to allow yourself to make fast and conscious decisions in stressful situations?

For more information on how you can become a powerful business communicator, download a complimentary copy of our groundbreaking new ebook, “The Leader’s Guide to Clear and Effective Communication” at EvolutionTraining.co.uk/LeadershipBook.

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Roger Terry

Director of Training and Coaching at Evolution Training Ltd
Roger Terry is one of the world’s leading experts on applying NLP to drive excellence both professionally and personally. Roger leads seminars and consults with companies all over the world, including in the UK, USA, Europe and Middle East. He is the author of several books, including The Hidden Art of Interviewing, NLP and Qualitative Research, NLP for Teachers and The NLP Toolkit.