All too often we find ourselves reinforcing negative behaviour instead of positive. Think about it! Do you get more upset with your children when they act out or do you tell them how amazing they are when they’re using their manners?

Most of us are conditioned to respond to negative stimuli and ignore positive stimuli.  In fact, sometimes we don’t even notice the positive behaviours going on around us.

But reinforcing positive behaviour is a powerful way to help those around us, especially subordinates (such as employees, students, or children), create long-lasting behavioural changes that benefit everyone.

Here’s how to do it…

  1. Train yourself to notice positive behaviours.  If you’re not in the habit, this can be the most difficult, so remind yourself frequently.  Set an alarm in your phone, put a note by your desk, then you’re reminded to look for positive behaviours throughout the day.
  2. When you catch someone doing something positive, praise the person. Be specific about what it is that you like about what they’re doing.  “Donna, your report shows excellent leadership and analysis.” “Jimmy, it’s wonderful how well you’re sharing your toy with Elise.”  Don’t be shy about praising people publicly.
  3. Use praise strategically to remind others who are not doing the right thing about what you want. If there are some who are behaving in less productive ways, you don’t always need to call them out specifically; instead, simply publicly praise those who are behaving in more productive ways.

Finally, recognise that these tips not only apply positive behaviour reinforcement to those around you, but also to yourself! It’s absolutely imperative that you positively reinforce the positive qualities within yourself. For example, if you catch yourself doing something well, recognise that and praise yourself for it!  It will help you develop a positive self-image and contribute to your long-term success.

What tips can you offer about positive reinforcement?

For more information on how learning NLP can dramatically improve your life, professional pursuits, and relationships, read our groundbreaking FREE ebook, “Resourceful Living: How NLP Can Improve Your Seven Life Streams” at EvolutionTraining.co.uk/ResourcefulLife.

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Roger Terry

Director of Training and Coaching at Evolution Training Ltd
Roger Terry is one of the world’s leading experts on applying NLP to drive excellence both professionally and personally. Roger leads seminars and consults with companies all over the world, including in the UK, USA, Europe and Middle East. He is the author of several books, including The Hidden Art of Interviewing, NLP and Qualitative Research, NLP for Teachers and The NLP Toolkit.